I talk to so many women who tell me that they're afraid to go after what they want for fear of letting themselves down.
Even if they've accomplished all kinds of things, they still discount their achievements or doubt their ability to succeed again.
Does this sound familiar to you?
Ultimately, it all comes down to self-trust.
If you don't feel like you can count on yourself to be successful, it's hard to stay motivated.
But just because you don't trust yourself doesn't mean you're not trustworthy.
Just like in relationships, self-trust is built up or torn down over time.
When you let other things get in the way off of what you want for yourself, it erodes self-trust.
When you discount your accomplishments and fall into a perfectionism or procrastination spiral, it eats away at self-trust.
When you go down the rabbit hole of beating yourself up with negative self-talk, it diminishes self-trust.
Here's the thing: Our culture conditions women to put themselves last, and everyone else’s needs and expectations first. It’s no wonder so many of us have trouble with self-trust.
We get caught up in people pleasing, other people's expectations, and fear of judgment, which makes our own needs fall to the bottom of the list. This doesn’t leave enough time and energy to strive for our own goals.
So what can you do about this?
The good news about self trust is that you can build it. It's a lot like building trust in a relationship, only you're in a relationship with yourself.
When you keep your expectations for yourself reasonable and prioritize your needs, you build self-trust.
Reasonable goals are specific and achievable. They also take into account how you feel and what's going on in your life right now.
The important part is to start small and make sure that you're able to achieve the goal that you set for yourself.
Prioritizing your own goals means you have to come first on the list. This might be a little uncomfortable at first and it may require some boundaries. I know you can do it.
When you complete your goal, take some time to acknowledge and appreciate yourself. Do something to celebrate.
This part is really important: celebrating your accomplishments gives you a neuro boost that will help you be successful again.
Are you willing to give building self-trust a try?
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